Thursday, June 30, 2011

Thursday 13: 13 Magickal Moons

13 Magickal Moons in Occoquan, VA is a metaphysical store owned by my best friend, Samantha Harvey. It's a very welcoming place, offering customers classes, open rituals, and a weekly event for locals to get together. So it's not terribly surprising that people feel comfortable there, and they will often tell her personal stories and ask advice. Most of the time, the customers are great. It's the odd few who necessitated the need for a list of store rules.

The list - perhaps a capital L suits it better - The List started off ordinarily enough with the standard "you break it, you buy it" and warnings that shoplifters will be prosecuted. But as time went on, the rules needed to be amended. Usually a new rule is written because of a single eccentric (I'm being kind!) customer. Sam jotted them down on The List, which just kept growing. It's tradition now to continue hand-writing The List, so additional pieces of paper have been taped up to accommodate new rules. 

Customers love to stand and read The List because it's kind of funny. They always ask for the story behind them too. So here's a list of my favorite 13 rules from Sam's store. Leave me a comment about the one that intrigues you and next week I will tell you the story behind the top pick!
  1. Yes, the store is owned by a master herbalist, but you don’t have to show her your ailment.
  2. You cannot take pictures of the store, altar, etc.
  3. No, you cannot bring your demon here.
  4. We will not give you a list of wholesalers/suppliers.
  5. We will not do spells, remove curses, exorcisms, etc. We will not come to your house to perform the above.
  6. A tattoo does not make you an HP (high priest/priestess).
  7. TV shows and movies such as Buffy, Angel, Practical Magic, The Craft, Charmed, True Blood, and Vampire Diaries do not reflect the reality of Witchcraft.
  8. Being a hereditary witch does not make you better or more powerful than any other witch.
  9. If you are sick, STAY AWAY!!
  10. No, the cats are not for sale.
  11. This is NOT a whore house!
  12. No, you can’t have a discount. No, we do not bargain or barter. This is not a flea market.
  13. No we do not sell salvia or “spice” (herbs and incenses used as drugs).


  1. Caryssa TownsendJune 30, 2011 at 9:11 AM

    6 and 7 are my FAVORITES!!! I am trying to teach my 7 year old that yes, I am a witch, no Harry Potter is NOT real and I can't turn anyone into anything (unless its a jacka$$... but that is usually their natural state) ;) thank you for posting it

  2. #1 makes me cringe and #3 makes me giggle even though I sure the poor person wanting to bring their demon was serious. Although Marcus and I did discuss that because of rule number 3 there is one of his friends that we probably will never be able to bring to the shop just kidding the kids really not THAT bad lol.

  3. Caryssa, I think a number of these are caused by misconceptions about witches. I adore Harry Potter, but it isn't reality. I think we'd see a lot of broomstick flying if it was! And quidditch! I might actually become a sports fan if quidditch actually existed!

  4. Michaelle, you can only imagine the stuff that inspired #1! But sadly, #3 was caused by a person who was very serious. Really? You have a demon here? No thanks, you can leave it over there next to the Hellmouth with Buffy.

  5. I want to hear the Whorehouse story.

  6. Mike, I suspected that rule would be the one people asked about! The store used to offer massages. A man called on the phone and asked very leading questions about them - what type of massages and what special services could be added. That might not be so strange until he asked how many different girls did he have to choose from! Sam told him that our massage therapist was a man. The caller hung up!

  7. This sounds like my kind of place, lol! Wish I could drop in - but I'm a wee bit far away. I love the rules. Keeps everything more or less civilized!